To Learn, You Must Listen: What Brings and Binds People Together?

Over the course of this semester, the idea of changing ourselves has been a constant weight on everyone. In the height of a pandemic we all have had too much time alone, stuck with our own thoughts. What is wrong? Why do I feel this way? What will make it better? However, change is not limited to our individual selves. We change to become more empathetic; to become better students. Outside the classroom, change and continuous learning allow us to be activists and push equality. The idea is to genuinely care about each other’s experiences in order to reflect on them. Genuine care means to listen and empathize with others; to provide productive feedback and relate through understanding. If we do not understand, then we must continue to listen and hear each other out.

  In ENGL431, the push to change in order to grow with our peers has been emphasized immensely. Through our thinkING and reading Octavia Butler, I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that change does not come easy. We all theoretically want to change for the better, but obstacles and features of ourselves may prohibit us from quick reactions to new environments. The biggest one I have noticed is the lack of human connection. Gone are the days of going out and seeing strangers, shooting a smile at people or a friendly wave. Now days are filled with silent working and dystopian-esque virtual discussions.  I would not say we have been stuck with constraints in ENGL431 — we have been graced with reminders and motivated by deadlines. We must learn how to push past these difficulties in order to change and become better without the reminders and the caring that is reinforced constantly in class conversations and discussion posts.One needs experiences to reflect on in order to truly grow. To do this, we must not only change ourselves to be more compassionate and empathetic, but we must also listen to the people around us. Our own responsibilities come from how we interact with people and how the individual self must care for others and themselves.

At the beginning of the semester, I remember our very first PadLet post on what it means to bring and bind people together. I can vividly see how eager everyone was to type, to say they knew what the answer was. It is interesting that we all do understand what it means to bring people together, but it feels more divided and distant now than ever before. This goes to show exactly how difficult the growth for ourselves truly is. Octavia Butler’s series compiled in Lilith’s Brood focuses heavily on how connection among one another creates a sense of stability that promotes a positive change through learning and understanding experiences. Let us not forget that change is not always in our benefit — we must create a safe environment that promotes our growth in change, not our downfall. In turn, this will create a positive outlet to learn from others. Dawn, the first novel of the series, begins with Lilith experiencing her third Awakening, alone and confused. Discovering that her consent and compassion have been ripped from her, she feels withdrawn and alone. I can relate to Lilith here — this semester I contracted COVID-19 from my mother. I felt confused, alone, and very similar to how Lilith describes trying to piece together her reality in the opening moments of the novel. These events and experiences can be scary, and can make us want to run and forget. However, we cannot. As we have heavily mentioned in the course, we must rather  “run and learn.” We have to take these experiences in order to listen and talk with others. To share emotions and educate each other and ourselves creates an understanding that promotes change. When these are stripped from us, or we are suddenly seen as different, we lose our ability to change. Once the compassion is gone, there is fear instilled and we become so insulated with ourselves that we lose a sense of individuality.

“His words bit more deeply into her than she let him see. With all the questioning and testing she had gone through, the two and a half years of round-the-clock observation–the Oankali must know her in some ways better than any human being…Of course they knew she had certain practical experiences they considered important”  

Butler. Lilith’s Brood. 91-92

Lilith, here, is describing how she has been treated much more like a test patient than an individual here. She feels alone and vulnerable; but it is important to note that the Oankali still consider her own experiences as something of importance. However, the issue is that experiences are being ripped from Lilith for the Oankali benefit; this is wrong. Her ability to bear a child is considered to be the only  This is not bringing and binding people together — this is using people and creating a hierarchy over them. That is why it is not enough to change ourselves to be open to other people’s experience, we must also genuinely listen and care. If the compassion is lacking, we begin to harm.

Harm and care are both very relevant topics not only in society right now, but also in ENGL431. Our care and good faith in others allows us to create the positive environment for change that was mentioned previously. This semester, I’ve learned that when you personally failed to encounter these things, it may seem helpless and worthless when you can see a disregard for care. I believe that our course is set up in nature to practice good faith, however when it is apparent someone has taken thoughts and ideas from others rather than expand on them, the change may be negative to the individual who has been discouraged. This discouragement leads to distrust, which we can see in Butler’s “The Training Floor” from Dawn. Distrust towards Lilith is prevalent amongst the Oankali; the spread of disinformation about humans makes them unsure of her. As the disinformation spreads and Lilith is treated similarly to an outsider; she becomes discouraged when trying to help unite the Oankali. I find that is important to note that although we need a positive environment to grow, we also need to allow individuals to have their own experiences. 

“They’ll cut the trees down, you know,’ she said softly. ‘They’ll make boats or rafts. They think they’re on Earth.’

‘Some of them believe otherwise,’’ Nikanj told her. ‘They believe because you do.’

‘That won’t stop the boat building.’

‘No. We won’t try to stop it”

Butler. Lilith’s Brood. 200

This conversation resonated with me because I do think that spreading knowledge amongst each other is the key to bringing people together. However, individuals have the urge to discover things for themselves. Our curiosity is quite literally one of our most dangerous traits. This does not take away from care; rather it creates a careful environment in which others are free to have their own journeys and battles in order to learn from what they’ve done. In the textual case, the result is failure and that is okay. In life, some of the experiences we take lead to better ones. We must allow risks to be taken and not place limitations on each other. If we were to just copy and paste what people tell us, we fail ourselves. However, to avoid harm, we must remember that not everything has to come from experience. Lilith mentions this idea of experience in Adulthood Rites. “I was a city person, too, but there were some things I was willing not to learn from experience” (282). We must use our own reasoning to decide whether experiences and risks are worth taking.  Learning from one another does not mean depending on another person to tell us the answers. It is rather to take their understanding and use it in our benefit to promote positive change. We must genuinely care about each other and respect each other as individuals in order to promote positive changes. 

I, honestly, have failed myself in preparing for change. Or, rather, I have become aware that I have not done enough to promote positive change this semester. These actions have not gone to waste nor have they been unnoticed. I would say I am pretty compassionate, even maybe an empath. As a white, cisgendered woman, I have been more willing to listen to others experiences in order to understand and be an activist. However, I have not done enough for myself. Much like the humans building boats to row to the end of the environment in Dawn, I have experienced failures that I can change to finish strongly in my career as an Undergraduate student next semester. Reading Adulthood Rites, I was struck by the rules Wray explains to Tino. 

“You can do as you please here. As long as you don’t hurt anyone, you can stay or go as you like; you can choose your own friends, your own lovers. No one has the right to demand anything from you that you don’t want to give”

Butler. Lilith’s Brood. 286.

As I read this again, I sit and resonate on it. As students, we don’t have this option. I feel demands have been at an all time high — not in this course specifically, but I have seen more than enough students post or discuss they have been figuratively drowning this semester, whether it’s in schoolwork or personal life. I believe that this is what has contributed to my lack of change this semester, but has contributed to set me up to prepare for change as we enter a new semester. I do not want to discredit the demands put, however. Responsibilities are not an excuse for our lack of change, yet they can be lumped with the obstacles we face that may make our preparation delayed. Balance is not easy, but it is important. We all have our own individual steps to take in order to become our best selves and in turn listen and give advice to others.

Life is not fulfilled without the influence of others. In order to bring people together, especially in a time of widespread divide, we must better ourselves and be willing to share and listen to each other. This pushes past just listening to friends and family. It is also important to understand each other’s limitations and walls. We must listen to others’ experiences in order to better ourselves to help others down the road. As we wrap up this semester and year, there is one thing to always remember,

No one has the right to demand anything from you that you don’t want to give

Adapting to the Unfamiliar

Throughout this semester, I have deepened my habits of thinkING and I look forward to applying these new skills to my life beyond this course. I have gained a new appreciation and understanding of textual evidence, and am now much more comfortable asking myself why the things that I find interesting matter to the entirety of a story and to society as a whole. At the beginning of this course, I was not especially excited to start reading a science fiction novel. I was not quite sure why I never felt compelled to read science fiction, but after reading this novel and looking more closely into Octavia Butler’s writing, I have realized that the reason I was not interested in science fiction before was because I enjoy more realistic and relatable stories. 

However, I ended up really enjoying reading Lilith’s Brood and making dozens of annotations throughout the novel of things that I found notable. Oftentimes, I bookmark quotes or sections of novels that I find interesting, typically with no greater purpose besides the fact that I find them notable. For example, a frequent note that I made throughout my reading was in regard to the “human contradiction” that is often discussed throughout this novel. I found this incredibly interesting, especially because I had never thought of how truly contradictive humans are. Throughout this course, I have learned that I need to ask myself what these sections contribute to the story, why the author may have incorporated them, and especially why it piqued my interest. I was surprised to see that so many parts of this story did interest me, as I am not usually interested in science fiction. I noticed that while the situations portrayed in Lilith’s Brood are not incredibly realistic, the emotions and experiences can still be relatable to me. These notes that I took demonstrate how Octavia Butler uses this concept to illustrate how characters adapt to new situations in order to show how important familiarity and flexibility are in bringing and binding people together, harm and care, and change. 

Throughout Lilith’s Brood, Butler demonstrates how familiarity can bring and bind people together and make them more adaptable in new situations. In this trilogy, there is a clear separation between Oankali, Humans who mate with Oankali, and resistor Humans. I noticed especially how the resistors display that familiarity brings and binds them together. When Akin lives among the resistors, he is treated well because they “liked him simply because he looked like them” (Butler 385). The fact that Akin looks generally human to the resistors made the resistors more comfortable around him and more willing to care for him. Conversely, the resistors encounter the two Oankali-Human constructs, Amma and Shkaht, who do not look as human as Akin does. The resistor Neci wants to cut off Amma and Shkahts’s sensory tentacles because she believes that the girls would look more Human without them. Neci explains how she thinks the girls will “learn to do without the ugly little things if [the resistors] take them off while they’re so young” and “they’ll learn to use their human senses” (Butler 375). Since Neci is uncomfortable with how the girls look—they are not as Human-presenting as Akin—she believes that making them look more familiar to her might make her and the other resistors more capable of bonding with them. It is important to note how humans use the sense of sight to gauge familiarity, whereas the Oankali use senses like taste, smell, and touch to determine familiarity. When Akin tells the resistor Tate how much it would hurt the girls to cut off their tentacles and that a sensory tentacle could still sting a human even if the Oankali were dead, Tate seems to care more about the fact that a human could get hurt than the Oankali girls being in excruciating pain from losing their tentacles. This carelessness connects to the way that humans value visual appearance for comfort because even though cutting the girls’ tentacles off will hurt them immensely, it is more important to the humans that they are visually appealing. Tate asks Akin many questions about the process of removing tentacles, but seems to stop her questioning when Akin brings up the harm and pain it would cause the Oankali (Butler 381). Butler makes this subtle but important move to show how the Humans value their own comfort and familiarity over the comfort of someone different than themselves. 

The Oankali also demonstrate how familiarity brings and binds them together by sterilizing the Humans because they do not want Humans to mate with one another and make something that the Oankali do not want and does not look like them. Akin explains how the Oankali have taken away the Human’s ability to reproduce, saying “their kind is all they’ve ever known or been, and now there won’t be any more. They try to make us like them, but we won’t ever really be like them, and they know it” (Butler 377). However, at a time of doubt in Akin’s life, he remembers words that Lilith once told him:

“‘Human beings fear difference’, Lilith had told him once. ‘Oankali crave difference. Humans persecute their different ones, yet they need them to give themselves definition and status. Oankali seek difference and collect it. They need it to keep themselves from stagnation and overspecialization’” (Butler 329).

Lilith tells Akin that in times when he feels conflict, to “‘try and go the Oankali way’” by embracing difference (Butler 329). While the Oankali do believe that their species is superior to humans and want to essentially eliminate the humans, they are more adaptable than humans are in terms of familiarity. By illustrating this, Butler draws attention to how important familiarity is to all life forms when bonding with one another; however, adapting to the unfamiliar, like the Oankali pursue, can be just as important when bringing and binding people together. It is especially important to note that this conversation takes place between Lilith and Akin—both of whom exhibit human and Oankali characteristics—and Lilith urges Akin to follow the Oankali way rather than the human way. This advice implies that Lilith believes that the Oankali have a better way of accepting what is not familiar to them, displaying their strong adaptability. Familiarity is especially important in the conversation of what brings and binds people together because it can create a basis of comfort and understanding to explore unfamiliar things; meanwhile, adaptability can serve as a show of good faith and comfort as well. 

When considering how familiarity and adaptability brings and binds people together, it is also important to note how the idea of consent may be adaptable beyond what we are familiar with. I believe that consent plays a vital role in discussions about both harm and care. First, it is important to understand that there is sometimes a lack of consent on both sides of a situation. Additionally, we must consider that consent does not always equate to something bad happening to someone. In the case of sighted humans, physical attraction can be a nonconsensual situation. At the beginning of this semester, we viewed a “meet cute” from the 1996 film Romeo + Juliet. In this scene, the two star-crossed lovers saw one another for the first time through a fish tank. In the context of the film, it is assumed that there was an instant physical attraction between the two. However, what we may fail to recognize is how physical attraction between sighted people often lacks consent. Neither of the participants in this scene asked for the physical attraction from the other, but they projected their own physical attraction onto the other. While this is not inherently harmful, it is still a nonconsensual situation. 

In a recent Zoom discussion, Beth presented the metaphor of how breathing is essentially a non-consensual act. Although breathing is something that every Human and mammal must do to survive, it is something that we have not consented to at birth. This discussion blurs the line of harm and care with regards to consent because while we tend to see almost everything that is not consensual as negative or harmful (in most cases it is), there may be some instances where not having consent is positive or caring. In this case, if mammals did not consent to breathing they would all die almost instantly. In Imago, when Lilith discusses mating with Oankali as a Human with Jesusa, Jesusa asks, “You didn’t have a choice [to mate with Nikanj], did you?” and Lilith responds “I did, oh yes. I chose to live” (Butler 672). This situation is similar to the metaphor of breathing. Lilith “consented” to a certain extent, but the only other option was death. This “choice” also brings up the question of how much the Oankali “care” for humans like Lilith if their version of “consent” is basically a negative ultimatum where one choice is life and the other is death. I found a similar situation in other instances where the Oankali seem to do positive things for the Humans, but without their knowledge or consent. For example, the Oankali cured Lilith of her cancer before she was Awakened and Jodahs altered Marina’s body so that she could safely bear children. The latter was a situation where Jodahs (who changed her body) also did not entirely consent, but it seems harmful that the Oankali—especially the ooloi—are physically unable to stop themselves from healing someone, especially when the person being healed does not consent. Butler provokes readers to think of consent in a different way than we’re used to; instead of seeing a lack of consent as strictly harmful, Butler exposes the ways in which lacking consent can also be used in a caring and necessary way, just like breathing. This nuanced concept of consent is perhaps unfamiliar to Butler’s audience, forcing readers to demonstrate good faith in Butler by adapting to a new meaning. 

Finally, recognizing how familiarity and adaptability brings and binds people together has really helped push me further into the habit of being “prepared to change and be changed”. All in all, I am typically receptive to new information and ideas as long as they do not challenge my moral values. In my second To the Forums! Discussion post, I discussed how I believe that willful education is one of the most vital practices of good faith. I often refer back to this post, as it is something I truly believe in and work to implement in my everyday life. In this post, I explain how I believe that “In an age of constant access to ever-evolving information, there is virtually no reason why one should choose to remain ignorant to the lives, experiences, cultures, etc. of others.“ In her TED Talk “The Danger of a Single Story”, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie touches on this aspect of being prepared to change and be changed, detailing a time when she realized how media and other people’s opinions affected her own views. Adichie tells the story of when she visited Mexico for the first time and was shocked by the difference between actual Mexican people and the negative, harmful way that they are stereotyped in the United States. What I find to be most important about this story is that Adichie recognizes that she arrived in Mexico with these negative biases, and was ashamed to have had them. Furthermore, this instance helped Adichie realize that this is probably not the only example of a societal, implicit bias affecting the way she sees things, and worked to change this issue in herself and others. I view myself as “prepared to change and be changed” because I work every day to be like Adichie and recognize the perceptions I have and be open to new interpretations of them. Whenever I catch myself thinking something stereotypical about something or someone, I take a moment to reflect on why I have those thoughts and how I can actively change them. Even going into this course, one of the first things I said during our first Zoom meeting was that I was not really “that into” science-fiction novels and usually do not enjoy reading them because they are unrealistic and therefore unrelatable to me. However, through reading Lilith’s Brood, I have formed a new, deeper understanding of what science fiction can be, something that was not familiar to me before reading Butler’s work. I have accepted that while a story may be unrealistic, it can still have themes that I relate to, like Butler’s discussion of familiarity and adaptability in Lilith’s Brood. I look forward to recognizing especially when things feel “safe” or familiar to me in my life outside of academia and further adapt my perception of the world around me when I must oppose that familiarity.

Continued Learning (and its Companion, Running): A Reflection on “Imagos”, Life Cycles, Care, and Harm

“Learn and Run!” (Octavia Butler in Dawn).

Over the duration of this course, I have come to better understand myself as non-linear, much like the life cycle of an insect. I encompass countless cycles, including unsuspecting companions such as harm and care. The question of whether I am in the habit of getting “prepared to change and be changed” urged me to reflect on how I came to this understanding of myself. Through reading Octavia Butler’s trilogy Lilith’s Brood, contemplating on it, and writing about it, I absorbed different elements of the story, and applied them to myself. One element is the function of the third book’s title, Imago. “Imago”, Latin for “image”, may be an entomological term, referring to an insect in the fully-developed phase of its life cycle. It is also a psychological term, referring to a persistent and idealized mental image of someone. One of our course epithets was this quote from Butler’s “Furor Scribendi”: “First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not….Habit is persistence in practice. Forget talent. If you have it, fine. Use it. If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter. As habit is more dependable than inspiration, continued learning is more dependable than talent.” As influenced by the companionship between habit and learning, one way I am enacting changing and being changed can be best expressed through “imago” metaphors:

I have a persistent mental image of who I should ideally be, constructed of internalized perfectionism, of which I know to be a manifestation of “imago”. But instead of ever reaching the promised perfected self, this “imago” deepens stagnation, pushing me into survival, rather than survival paired with flourishing. I have begun habitually challenging this “imago” with a focus on its second definition. I am challenging my mental image of my ‘ideal’ self to look more like an insect, immersed in moving towards full development in some ways, and, at the same time, open to the other stages of its life cycle. Learning is similar to an insect’s life cycle. I am striving to learn more, developing my understanding of different subjects in different ways. “Continued learning” is a life cycle. Embarking on the journey of learning new things is like being in the egg or larvae stage. Growing through learning brings you to the “imago” stage, and the metamorphosis of understanding starts over and over again. 

A life cycle is multifaceted, as countless different aspects of myself are in different phases (I think of the typical multifaceted insect’s eye). I want to release the idea of having to be one ideal thing to make space for two; to make space for simultaneous dimensions of change, all at different phases in their cycle. I want to remember the dangers that come with holding yourself to a single story- one chance to be perfect, one linear way to grow and to learn- as Chimamanda Adichie’s talk “The Danger of a Single Story” discussed, and as Butler embodied in the different narrative points of views through the trilogy. This sentiment reminds me of a particular quote near the end of Imago: “And [the seed] would need the space the valley afforded it to grow and mature” (p. 745). The seed for the town, much like me, needs space to grow. I know how to make space: through change. To make space, some things need to undergo diminution, and at the same time, others need to expand. I want to put the perfectionist “imago” under diminution and expand the cyclic, multifaceted one of learning. Another relevant quote on the same page reads “Here the town could grow and always have the companionship of some of us. It would need that companionship as much as we did during our metamorphoses” (p. 745). A companionship encourages change; it embodies the “both / and” concept we have pondered throughout this course. Habit and learning as companions prompt metamorphosis. Another companionship- one of our other course concepts- is harm and care.

Harm and care are often conveyed as mutually exclusive opposites. For example, there are simple scenarios that seem to confirm a care and harm dichotomy, such as, if a child hits another child for taking a toy they wanted, this is harm, and needs to be taught out of the child. But then there are scenarios that are much more nuanced, challenging this dichotomy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy challenges obsessive-compulsive thoughts and behaviors, and for an individual to newly defy these thoughts and behaviors, it is painful. Mentally and physically, it can cause distress due to heightened levels of anxiety. But in the long run, this pain ultimately ‘harms’ obsessive-compulsivity rather than the individual, through the development of coping skills. I found two particular incidents in Lilith’s Brood that challenge the dichotomy of care and harm. One is from the beginning, and the other is at the end. On pages 79-81, Butler writes, “On the back of her neck, she felt the promised touch, a harder pressure, then the puncture. It hurt more than she had expected…[After she awoke] she sat up carefully just in time to see Nikanj coming through a wall… “You’re so complex,” it said, taking both her hands. It did not point its head tentacles at her in the usual way, but placed its head close to hers and touched her with them. “You’re filled with so much life and death and potential for change,” Nikanj continued… “What did you do? I don’t feel any different…,” [said Lilith]. “You understand me,” [said Nikanj]. In simple terms, in order for Lilith to begin a new period of growth, there must first be pain. Lilith was afraid of this painful change that Nikanj was going to do, comparing it to the brain damage her husband Sam had suffered on page 78. I don’t think the change Lilith underwent can be classified as either care or harm in the long run, but as care and harm both. It is harmful to puncture an opening in someone’s body, but the change that subsequently unfurled was so dynamic, that it cannot be neatly placed into either category of harm or care, or even be considered to be the caring counterpart to the harm. Interestingly, after Nikanj fulfills the “promised touch” and Lilith regains consciousness, it uses its touch to ensure that Lilith is recovering okay. This is an example of how care and harm are less polar or linear, and more of a blending, fluctuating cycle. 

On page 738, Butler writes, ““I’m not sure I’ll forgive it,” Lilith said. But she was smiling…” The juxtaposition of Lilith’s words with her smile reminds me of the importance of intention, and how action and intention are entangled, giving way to the nuance of care and harm. Throughout Lilith’s Brood, harmful actions paired with ‘good’ (or neutral/ambiguous) intentions occur. For example, when Lilith buried her orange peelings in Tiej, she expected them to be “broken down by tendrils of the ship’s own living matter”. Instead, Lilith “poisoned”, as Kahguyaht says, the ground. Her intention could be considered caring, as she was burying her peelings to cover her trail, as she was not sure if Nikanj would be in trouble for allowing her to wander. But her burying the peelings “had caused harm”. Because the ship is alive, it feels pain. (Butler, pp. 67-69). 

The other course concept, of what brings and binds people together, is not necessarily implying willing, comfortable companionship. More uncomfortable dualities, like care and harm, companions in themselves, can bring and bind people together. “When the doctor first came to our household,” [Jdahya] said, “some of my family found her so disturbing that they left home for awhile. That’s unheard-of-behavior among us…They had never before seen so much life and so much death is one being. It hurt some of them to touch her…It was her genetic structure that disturbed them” (Butler, p. 26). The companionship of life and death harmed Jdahya’s family members. And according to Jdahya on page 38, it harmed humanity, as well: “You have a mismatched pair of genetic characteristics. Either alone would have been useful, would have aided the survival of your species. But the two together are lethal…You are intelligent. You are hierarchical.” If humanity does indeed ‘contain’ innate companionships- life and death, intelligence and natural hierarchy, care and harm- then, of course, those companionships bring and bind people together. They are us. I think habit and continued learning have the ability to sustain our relationships, both with our own selves and with one another. We are independent lives, with distinct life cycles and different things to understand. But sowing idealized images of a perfected human whole reap stagnation over growing, just like how having idealized images of our perfect individual selves can too. Rather, I want to continue on in my life cycle of habit and learning, growing and metamorphosing in my understanding of life. “I chose a spot near the river. There I prepared the seed to go into the ground. I gave it a thick, nutritious coating, then brought it out of my body through my right sensory hand. I planted it deep in the rich soil of the riverbank. Seconds after I had expelled it, I felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life” (Butler, p. 746). Throughout this course, I have learned about myself and others, paralleling the planting of the seed; and I can run with these understandings, just as the seed moves forth as independent life. 

Fatima’s Final Self-Reflective Essay

The most crucial point to remember is that the person you were, in the beginning, was the foundation block for where you are now. Each and every piece of information I have learned in this course, has strengthened my outlook on the realistic world and Butler’s fictional world.  This course has pushed me to really look at myself as a student, peer and scholar about how I think and write.  The “constraints” of this course have, as a matter of fact, been utensils that have opened up a new realm of skills and understanding.  Through the course’s emphasis on textual evidence and reflection on one’s self, through the ING, I have seen growth in my writing and in my train of thought.  Throughout my academic years, I have taken lengthy notes in the books or articles that I read, because I deem them important.  For the most part, I will highlight or note a section because I find that there is symbolism, foreshadowing, or a lesson behind it that the author is trying to get at.  Evidently, this course has strengthened that practice of mine but also has made me more aware of the “how.”  How is this piece of text relevant or crucial to me?  How does it stand out from all of the other pieces of text that I have read.  I believe that when you learn something and attain knowledge, the most beneficial action to do is to take the lessons and try to apply them to your real-life situations. This being said you have to remember that it will not play out exactly the same as it did in Butler’s fictional world, so take it with a grain of salt.  Personally, I try to apply this belief to how I go about the classes I take in college, and every moment of my life.  As we go on from one minute to the next of our life, we are growing and adapting and changing.  We cannot be the same person as we were the day before because each moment we learn something new, and can make the intention to apply that lesson into our everyday life.  We take the chances to push ourselves into a new unknown.  By stepping out of my comfort zone, whether it be with the material I read or life choices, I am saying that I have acknowledged that there will be a challenge and that I am ready to conquer it.  

My throughline for this essay is that you are not who you were yesterday, because you are constantly changing and growing with each interaction that you have and every class that you are in.  The choice to do something can be a life-altering thing because each choice you make leads you to a new storyline.  You change and grow with every choice you make.    It is important to be aware of your interactions with others and respect the people you come into contact with, because if you cause harm to someone then that harm will come back to you in a similar way.  The central question for this course (What brings and binds people together?) has taught me to be more aware of my interactions with others, to focus on the details of a conversation or action, and see how they coordinate and apply to one another.  Each and every moment of my life will shape me for the future.  The core concepts of “harm” and “care” apply to our everyday lives, especially with today’s political and social climate.  It is essential to be kind to others and to accept other’s points of view and to realize that there are different stories for one idea/event/question.  I believe that with the concepts of “harm” and “care”, the concept of respect plays a huge role.  My respect for someone plays a huge role in how much I care for them and look out for them.  If you do not respect someone then you will cause them harm, whether or not it is intentional, and you will tend to care for them less. The central course question has taught me a great deal in regard to how relations work and how the people we meet, we meet for specific people.  The concept of trust and faith goes hand in hand with “binding people together.” You cannot bond with someone if they are not trusting of you or if you are not fully confident in their company.  For people to be bonded together, there needs to be a sort of glue that does that.  This “glue” can be their shared opinion, experience, or belief.  Many people are brought together through their common faith and use that as a way to keep themselves connected.  In my experience, when I see a fellow Muslim in a crowd of unfamiliar people, I feel a sort of ease because I know that I can at least engage with them on a topic that we both share: our faith.  Similarly, I believe that the “To the Forum” posts that are a part of the course, has allowed me and my classmates to form a bond.  Through the frequent posts, I am able to gather and understand how my peers are understanding the prompts and the material for the course.  Even if we are composing different opinions, we are all bonded through the posts.  It is a space for us to feel comfortable, safe and respected.  I feel as though these three concepts go hand in hand with the concept of consent that we have touched upon in this course.  In order to obtain someone’s consent one must first be able to feel comfortable and safe amongst the other person’s presence and space.  It is crucial to note that it is an honor and privilege for someone to provide you with their consent.  Through conversation, the individuals will be able to form a bond which leads to stronger trust.  Essentially, having common beliefs, experiences and ideas help to bind individuals together as there is a space of similarity.  I often feel safer with someone and am able to bond with them better when I have something in common with them.   The feeling of trust plays a huge role in giving or denying consent.  If an individual forms trust and a bond with another then they feel vulnerable and at ease with the other person.  In “Metamorphosis” in Imago there is a power present which characters have to constantly struggle with to figure out their “choices, desires and needs” as Beth says.  Ooloi have power over other creatures with their differing abilities and strengths.  One character that displays the power and uses it for her own advantage is Jodahs who makes changes to Marina’s body so that she can bear children, which was a desire that Marina Rivas had but not something that she consented to.  Jodahs narrates, “I discovered that I had slightly altered the structure of her pelvis during the night.  I hadn’t intended to try such a thing.  It wouldn’t have occurred to me to try it.  Yet it was done.  The female could bear children now” (Butler 582).  Jodah took advantage of the trust and bond that the two shared to go ahead and make a life-altering change.  It was not its body to decide if the body can be altered to bear children or not.  I have come to the understanding that who I am today will be different from who I am tomorrow because of the choices that I and others make, similar to how Jodah made a decision for Marina without her consent.  

Likewise, I have learned a great deal about our course concepts of harm and care that I had not known or absorbed prior to taking the course.  It is essential to remember that you are not who you were yesterday, because you are constantly changing and growing with each interaction that you have and every class that you are in.  It is important to be aware of your interactions with others and respect the people you come into contact with, because if you cause harm to someone then that harm will come back to you in a similar way. The harm you cause on someone cannot be reversed and is interchangeable.  Similarly if you express that you care for someone then that also is something that is interchangeable and one that will change their lives forever. If an individual is harmed than that clean slate will get marks on it and the result of those marks will stay.  No matter how hard you try to even out the wrinkles from the paper, the appearance of the paper will be different.  I have also learned that harm and care go hand in hand, and what I mean by that is that if you care about someone then you will do your best not to cause them any mental, physical or emotional harm.  One moment in Imago that this idea is practiced is when Jodahs expresses its concern about not wanting to cause Aaor any harm.  Whilst speaking to Nikanj, Jodahs says, “I don’t want to keep being dangerous, hurting Aaor, being afraid of myself” (Butler 571).  Due to its charismatic and kind nature, Akin is aware that it is hurting others, such as Aaor, and accepting that is hard for it as it does not mean to do so.  What is also crucial to note here is that it wants to change and stop hurting the people around it.  Jodahs’s intention to stop hurting others and being aware of how its actions impact others is an important lesson.  The concept of  karma works in such a way that the harm you cause onto others comes back to you.  The harm you cause is also a reflection of who you are and it is especially a reflection of yourself, if you do not change after becoming aware.  

Furthermore, this course exposed me to the concept of disinformation and allowed me to be more educated on the term and how it is present in our everyday lives.  The conversation about disinformation, under our course concept of harm and care, has helped me to put into words what I have been seeing frequently in our society in the past and present. According to the Wayne State University Library System website, “Disinformation refers to intentionally disseminating false information… It’s designed to manipulate the audience by either discrediting conflicting information, or supporting false conclusions. A common tactic is to mix truth with false conclusions and lies.”  Reading this article and the corresponding chapter of Dawn, I received a clearer perspective on the difference between disinformation and misinformation.   For instance, when Lilith wakes up some of the humans and debates with them as to where they are, where the Oankali has told her they are, a ship, or not.  Throughout the first book of the trilogy, Lilith has grown to trust the Oankali but her conversation with  Joseph, Tate, Leah, and Celene, starts to make her doubt what she already knows.  The individuals stated earlier believe that the Oankali are not indeed helping the humans solely because the Oankali are aliens and are different on the outside and inside.  These individuals did not believe in Lilith and believed that she was involved in harming them.  Their accusations and spread of disinformation started to impact Lilith as she started to doubt everything she knew about the Oankali and her experience on the ship.  Lilith asks herself “What if– The thought would not let her alone no matter what facts she felt she knew.  What if the others were right” (Butler 207).  The mix of truth and false information is dangerous because it could lead an individual to questioning what they already know.  The harm of disinformation is that it makes individuals doubt what they know and start to believe in misleading information.

Additionally, I believe that I am in the habit of getting “prepared to change and be changed”, I have adopted an attitude of constantly wanting to grow, and a crucial way to grow is to experience change and be in unusual and uncomfortable situations.  My throughline is that the choices you make can either help you to grow, through change or hold you back.  With this in mind, I want to travel back to one of the first concepts the course exposed me to: growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.  In his youtube video, entitled “Growth Mindset Introduction: What it is, How it Works, and Why it Matters” Trevor Ragan defines a growth mindset as the belief “that skills and intelligence are grown and developed” and this means that individuals aspire to grow and are proficient in a skill because they have practiced reaching that potential.  Also, this mindset pushes me to think about how I am always growing and that I should never stop learning because I think I have mastered a skill.  However, I should keep pushing myself to learn more because everyday new information is being created and discovered.  What we know today could be different tomorrow.  Whereas the term “fixed mindset” is defined as the belief “that you’re not in control of your abilities”  and that you are born with your skills and knowledge, and you do not have to learn anything new.  I believe that in my academic years I have witnessed myself go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, as I used to believe that I was naturally gifted in my classes as I would excel in them.  The notion that I was naturally gifted to understand different concepts, formulas, and terms in different subjects was present.  However, at some point, I switched to a growth mindset when that “natural talent” did not work for me as I got to higher levels of education.  I started to struggle with grasping certain mathematical concepts and saw my self-esteem decreasing because I no longer had that natural talent I once had.  What this led to was me working harder than ever to develop my skills and understanding of what was being taught in my courses.  In regard to Butler’s trilogy, I had changed my perception and liking towards the trilogy itself and the characters. For the longest time, I was not fond of science fiction as a genre, as I would get confused by the different terms, scenarios, and the “world” of the books.  But as I went through this course with an open mind, I found that the way Butler writes with avid detail and allowing the reader to “see” the characters, changed my view on science fiction.  I grew fond of the world that she created and the characters in the trilogy. Although Jodah and Jdahya’s appearances were unsettling when I first interacted with them, I looked past that and really looked at who they are on the inside. The sympathy and compassion that they have for humans is heart-warming, and something I believe our society needs to work on.  We should be accepting of others no matter their outside appearances; the only thing that should matter is how they respect others and the choices that they make.  

On a similar note, I believe that with the current difficult times with the pandemic, it has been a time of adapting to change.  Quarantine was something that I never had experienced before, and having gone through it for months, gave me a new perspective.  I was able to adapt to the change and understand that there are things that you have to do for the greater good of you, your loved ones, and strangers.  Quarantine and the pandemic have changed how I view a person’s impact on another person.  Each person should feel like they hold responsibility and should not let their selfish reasons be a reason for another person to suffer.  In Dawn, Jdahya talks about the trading concept which is a practice that I believe is similar to what we as a society are going through right now and what we have to understand.  It explains, “We must do it.  It renown us, enables us to survive as an evolving species instead of specializing ourselves into extinction or stagnation” (Butler 40).  In order to make sure the species does not go extinct, Jdahya and others like it understand that sacrifices need to be made and that small tasks will add up for a better outcome.  By trading parts of themselves to others, they are making sure that all of them stay safe and complete their tasks for the rest of their kind.  This practice is similar to what we are going through right now because this narrative is what has been put into place so that we as a species protect one another as much as ourselves.  If each person does their part then it will help the population as a whole.  

What it means to “Be CAREful”: A New Perspective

This semester has been a new experience and a challenge for all of us, requiring major adjustments in numerous areas of life. As this year is nearing an end, we can reflect on the ways that this year has impacted all of us, especially in regards to the pandemic. Many of us have experienced trauma, but it’s likely that many of us can say we have grown from the changes and new experiences that this year has brought upon all of us in different ways.

The themes portrayed throughout Octavia Butler’s work all have to do with the act of growing through our learning, and bringing our thoughts and ideas to life in areas where our knowledge can be beneficial in changing the way we see issues in the world around us. There are a number of different types of people that we will meet in our lives in regards to being brought and bound together and we may even find that some of the people change as they encounter more aspects of life including bias, consent, and good faith. Some people will not want to be bound together, or will struggle to get to this point. Sometimes in order to feel comfortable being a part of being brought somewhere and potentially bound together with someone else, one must figure out and be vulnerable to themselves beforehand. Some people will be very open to the thought of being brought and bound together right from the start, but will have to be considerate of others, reminding themselves that not everyone is at their same level of comfort.

Throughout Dawn, disinformation arises through the doubt that exists between the humans and the Oankali. From the very beginning, Lilith has trouble believing that she can feel safe around Jdahya. She asks herself, “Why couldn’t she just accept him? All he seemed to be asking was that she not panic at the sight of him or others like him. Why couldn’t she do that?” It is important to remember that Lilith has gone through a traumatic experience, losing her family and even trying to remember who she is. In response to this, it is hard for her to connect with others and find the will to trust them:

“Oh god. One child, long gone with his father. One son. Gone. If there were an afterworld, what a crowded place it must be now. 

Had she had siblings? That was the word they used. Siblings. 

Two brothers and a sister, probably dead along with the rest of her family. A mother, long dead, a father, probably dead, various aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews … probably dead.”

“Insane question. Could anyone who had lived through the war forget it? A handful of people tried to commit humanicide. They had nearly succeeded. She had, through sheer luck, managed to survive—only to be captured by heaven knew who and imprisoned. She had offered to answer their questions if they let her out of her cubicle. They refused.”

Anyone who has gone through loss like Lilith knows what this feels like. Everyone has a different way of recovering from trauma like this as well as a different amount of time to recover, if they ever fully do at all. The trauma that Lilith experiences affects all of her interactions with the Oankali as they are split into the groups of males, females, and the Ooloi. What we can learn from Lilith is that we must be careful about how we interact with anyone, as we might know their story or we might not. Even then, we may not fully understand how one feels. It’s easy to make presumptions, but the more open-minded we go into a situation, the better our attitudes will be towards others and the way they act or things they share with us that we might not expect. No one can get inside another’s head to experience every thought and feeling that they have had and felt.

Eventually, Lilith comes to trust Jdahya as he is straightforward with Lilith and answers her many questions the best he can, despite his answers being quite vague much of the time. He also takes in Lilith so that she will become accustomed to living among the Oankali. Eventually, Lilith becomes the one who encourages the other humans to accept the Oankali, despite being more than a human herself. When Jdahya says that the Oankali trade themselves, Lilith asks “You mean … each other? Slaves?” Jdahya responds, “No. We’ve never done that.” Lilith asks “What, then?” and Jdahya says “Ourselves.” In relation to the idea of growth within this course, I think that we “trade” the individual experiences we have with each other so that we can learn and grow from them. We each have our own “independent lives” as Butler discusses “positioning movements of independent life” in one of our course epigraphs from Imago. By sharing our own interpretations of the world and people around us, this can bring and bind us together.

When it comes to the idea of good-faith practices, I think it is essential to recognize the importance of keeping an open mind and understand that there is always room for improvement whether it be in life and the way we interact with humanity, or in our writing. Being more open-minded and accepting of the thoughts and values of others can create a more enhanced learning experience, as opposed to immediately shutting down ideas that you may not agree with.

The best way we can reap the full potential that life has to offer is by using good-faith practices that make us vulnerable to reconsidering various points of view that may not match our own and may end up causing us to change our beliefs and values. By making ourselves more vulnerable in this way, we are bound to learn more about others and ourselves through the way we interpret literature, ideally in a respectful, courteous, and open-minded manner. 

An important question to consider that we may find ourselves in often as humans is whether hiding something controversial from someone is showing harm or care. There may not be a definitive answer as our reasoning may depend on the circumstances of a given situation. In Butler’s work, Lilith criticises Nikanj for his lack of understanding of the humans when she says, “‘Better yet, prove to them they’re in a ship as soon as they’re Awakened,’ she said. ‘Illusion doesn’t comfort them for long. It just confuses them, helps them make dangerous mistakes. I had begun to wonder myself where we really were.’” Like Lilith says, this confusion makes the humans feel so helpless and frustrated that they take desperate and even aggressive measures to gain some sense of control. Information spreads quickly and can really end up becoming misinformation, as it is misleading, but not intended to hurt people purposely. However, people can end up getting hurt when things are misunderstood when people jump to conclusions.

Things are happening quicker than we can process and interpret them. Even then, we don’t always know what we can believe when we are hearing so many different things.

We must be careful about the way we choose to interpret the world around us. We can all learn something from this pandemic as the United States was hit with the coronavirus months after it had already grown to affect other countries majorly. Something we can all learn from this experience is that it is important to shy away from the mentality that “it could never happen to me.” It always can, and sometimes it even will as we have learned, unfortunately the hard way this year.

Some thoughts to continue thinkING on:

Through our reading of Butler’s work, we can pick up on the pressing questions she wrestles with over and over. We are all struggling in our own ways. No one person’s battle is more difficult than someone else’s because everything in life is relative. Our country is big, but how big is it compared to the whole world? Our world is big, but how big is it compared to the entire universe?

There will always be ups and downs. What matters is how we choose to go about our interactions with others, whether those are brought together with are going through highs or lows. Then again, we might not even know for sure what a person is going through. No one person can get inside your head to know what you are experiencing and feeling at any given point in time.

It is important to be aware of how our words and actions might affect someone else. One person may see something as an act of care in which another person sees the same action as an act of harm. We can never know for sure, but we can show that we are being careful and intentional with our words and actions by being open to listening to others and trying to understand where they are coming from, even if we can’t fully understand for ourselves. All of these thoughts that we have reflected on whether we knew it at the time or not throughout our readings in this course, are all ideas we can and should take with us as we leave this course and semester behind, and go back out into the world as independent individuals, with the power to choose kindness and understanding over hate and ignorance.

Instead of opening with a quote, I want to end with one that seems to embody what I have learned and reflected on throughout this course and provides me with a sense of closure, though I do intend to continue thinkING on what I have gained from this specific learning experience in ENGL 431-01: Octavia Butler and Social Ties:


“I chose a spot near the river. There I prepared the seed to go into the ground. I gave it a thick, nutritious coating, then brought it out of my body through my right sensory hand. I planted it deep in the rich soil of the riverbank. Seconds after I had expelled it, I felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life.” –Octavia Butler, Imago

Independent Life: An Act of Creation in a Tumultuous World

“I chose a spot near the river. There I prepared the seed to go into the ground. I gave it a thick, nutritious coating, then brought it out of my body through my right sensory hand. I planted it deep in the rich soil of the riverbank. Seconds after I had expelled it, I felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life.” –Octavia Butler, Imago

Over the course of this epigraph, Octavia Butler succinctly describes the act of creation. In the beginning, there is a preparation: Jodahs considers a location to plant the seed, and give it a “thick, nutritious coating.” The process of creation, for Jodahs, involves the implantation of the seed into the rich soil. The result of Jodahs’ efforts is profound: it then ‘felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life.” Jodahs enters this process with an open mind and has confidence that his efforts will produce something fruitful. The role of independence in this epigraph is crucial to note since the definition of independence implies two meanings: freedom from constraints and assumptions being the first, and then self-assuredness as the second. In this course, I initially thought that as a scholar and as a thinker, I always had to be more of a maverick and that the more original and freer from assumptions (as possible) my ideas were, the more valid my own ideas were. The act of creation, in this case, was a glorification of my own ego and need to be different. Over time, I have learned to be more self-assured in my own textual analysis and creative endeavors. I can take into consideration what people think, but because of self-assuredness, I do not have to let each critique be a buffer or a blow to my ego. The act of creation, in this instance, is an expression of self that is meant to be out for discussion and critique. In Imago, Jodahs is a construct, its role undefined in the setting of Lilith’s Brood that has categories of human, ooloi, and those that are a product of both. However, I take on many roles, such as scholar, author, creator, thinker, and future educator. In future discussions, pertaining to this text or otherwise, I hope to further examine the assumptions I have, coming from the roles of scholar, author, creator, thinker, and future educator. I hope to be self-assured and cognizant of my own assumptions, not only to be careful and propulsive in my own thoughts but also to reduce harm as much as I can. 

Continue reading “Independent Life: An Act of Creation in a Tumultuous World”

A lesson on Good-faith: Octavia Butler’s Trilogy, Lilith’s Brood, and Hermeneutic Reflection

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not…Habit is persistence in practice. Forget talent. If you have it, fine. Use it. If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter. As habit is more dependable than inspiration, continued learning is more dependable than talent.”–Octavia Butler, “Furor Scribendi”

During this unique semester of virtual learning, I took a class that focused on the author Octavia Butler. The novels we read are from her trilogy, Lilith’s Brood. A secondary material we needed to engage with was William A. Darity Jr. and Kirsten Mullen’s non-fiction work, From Here to Equality. A course concept that unites these two works is the concept of good-faith. I defined good-faith earlier in the semester based off of Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Framework principle called shared humanity. Shared humanity is defined as “recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience” . Good-faith means accepting that someone did their best, or that you did your best. This concept has been more important than ever to adopt amidst the struggles of learning virtually. Butler’s trilogy positively challenged my good-faith as a reader.  The reading experience taught me the importance of practicing good-faith as a way to establish my identity, in a personal and professional setting. I learned that practicing good-faith is a viable habit to acquire for the preservation of self and of others.

Continue reading “A lesson on Good-faith: Octavia Butler’s Trilogy, Lilith’s Brood, and Hermeneutic Reflection”

The Intent of Care or Harm

Sophie A. Montecalvo

December 17, 2020

Professor Beth McCoy

ENG 431: Octavia Butler & Social Ties

“If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”

  • Dalai Lama XVI

“Treat others how you would like to be treated,” the Golden Rule, is well-known and applied by many.  The concept is simple – be kind and try to treat others with respect.  Be caring towards them.  Do not cause harm.  However, this can be harder than it initially sounds.  One can unintentionally cause harm to someone by performing a good deed gone wrong – is this, then, harm or care?  Does it matter what the intention was, or only the action?  Or what if a person claims that they do not want something that they secretly do – would forcing it on them be harm or care?  How can this be decided?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the verbs harm as “to damage or injure” and care as “to feel trouble or anxiety” or “to feel interest or concern.”  Despite the words themselves being perceived as opposites, their technical definitions are not as distanced as one might initially think.  One could very well harm someone with the intent of care – of interest and concern – and end up injuring them, such as baking them cookies without knowing that they have a nut allergy.  Is this where the line is crossed?  Or what if someone knows that this person wants to travel to France and takes them on a sudden, surprise trip?  Would this be harm, as it is essentially kidnapping said person and not giving them a chance to say yes or no, or would it be care, as the person has technically had their wish granted?

Consent should be an easy, open-and-shut issue.  If someone verbalizes their wants or desires to another, but that other person abuses them and does not listen to what they have to say, then that is wrong.  If someone explicitly says “I don’t want this” and then experiences having it forced upon them, that is wrong as well.  Even if someone says “I don’t want this” but actually does, the other person should regard their words as their wants, not their actions or private thoughts.  When the Oankali come into the issue, however, this topic grows complicated, messy thorns.

“I went after Francisco, caught him, took him by the arms… He stood still for a moment, then abruptly tried to wrench free.  I held him because his body language told me that he wanted to be held more than he wanted to be let go… After his first effort, he would not shame himself by continuing to struggle against me.  I let him go when he truly wanted it.”

  • Imago, Octavia Butler

In this scene, the ooloi Oankali Jodhas is interacting with the human Francisco.  Francisco, fearful of the idea of having Oankali mates, tries to fight against Jodhas’s embrace.  However, Jodhas, being Oankali, “knows” that Francisco’s resistance is not what he “truly” wants, and so it does not stop.  Technically, this is care – Jodhas is giving Francisco what it is he actually wants – but it is done in a way that could be seen as controlling or possessive.  It is only because Jodhas genuinely does know that Francisco wants its touch that this is not strange – if a person forced a hug onto someone else who fought against it but didn’t stop because they “knew” they wanted it, that would be perceived as a violation of boundaries despite the other person’s personal wants.  This is why boundaries are usually discussed in a normal relationship – if one person appreciates being held when they are upset but the other does not, then they know how to treat one another without crossing any lines.  The latent “knowing” that the Oankali have greatly complicates this issue.  Take this controversial scene from Dawn, in which Nikanj forcefully shows Joseph that he should accept it:

“[Joseph] pulled his arm free.  ‘You said I could choose.  I’ve made my choice!’

‘You have, yes.’  [Nikanj] opened his jacket with its many-fingered true hands and stripped the garment from him.  When he would have backed away, it held him.  It managed to lie down on the bed with him without seeming to force him down.  ‘You see.  Your body has made a different choice.’

He struggled violently for several seconds, then stopped… 

[Joseph:] ‘What are you going to do?’

‘Nothing.  Close your eyes.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘You’re not afraid of me.  Close your eyes.’

Silence.

After a long while, he closed his eyes and the two of them lay together.  Joseph held his body rigid at first, but slowly, as nothing happened, he began to relax.  Sometime later his breathing evened and he seemed to be asleep.”

  • Dawn, Octavia Butler

I have included almost this entire scene to best show the lengths that Nikanj goes to, what Lilith describes as, “seducing” Joseph.  While Nikanj only lying with Joseph is not sexual in and of itself, Nikanj’s intense persistence and force are disturbing to read about – it reads like a rape scene in many ways.  Despite Nikanj’s undercurrent knowledge that Joseph is not afraid of it and did enjoy lying with Nikanj and Lilith previously, this does not make it acceptable for Nikanj to behave in this way.  In SUNY Geneseo’s policy on affirmative consent, this is one of its facets: “Affirmative consent to any sexual act or prior consensual sexual activity between or with any party does not necessarily constitute consent to any other sexual act.”  Another tenet of the issue of consent follows these lines: previously given consent does not give the right to repeated sexual activity.  A person who wants sex one night but not another is perfectly within their rights to do so.  This can be applied to Joseph, who did secretly like lying with Lilith and Nikanj the first time – despite his being not fully present for it.  Joseph was asleep when this happened: and, once more, this violates SUNY Geneseo’s policy, saying that “affirmative consent cannot be given when a person is incapacitated,” defining one of the ways a person can be incapacitated as being asleep.  However, even assuming Joseph willingly joined Lilith and Nikanj that first time, that does not mean that Nikanj can force itself on Joseph whenever it wants.

Circling back to the concept of harm and care, it can be asked where Nikanj’s actions towards Joseph fall.  The obvious, knee-jerk answer is that Nikanj is harmful – it openly disregarded Joseph’s boundaries, words, and actions.  Forcing someone to accept an idea or concept can rarely be effective.  However, it is through Lilith and Joseph’s relationship that Nikanj gives protection to Joseph, as well as the ability to heal himself if he is injured.  This is care, certainly – but in the end, it is this protection that kills Joseph.  When the rebelling humans see his unnatural healing, they murder him for good.  As was previously stated – if the intent is care but the outcome is harm, which holds true?

Having written this essay, I should now give a concrete answer to the questions I have posed.  I should say with complete surety that it is only the intent that matters, or that only the outcome does, or that such a process should be taken into a case-by-case basis.  The last is probably the closest to true – even intent itself can be mixed, further complicating the issue.  However, I am unable to give one true answer.  Harmful behavior can ultimately produce care, or vice versa.  It has not been easy for me to distinguish the two, not in the Oankali for one, but there are other areas in which this applies.

The quote from the beginning of this paper is confusing when brought into this context: “do nor harm” others sounds reasonable, but it is a clouded issue.  The first part of this, then, can still hold true: “help others.”  Doing so, while it may not always guarantee care, is one of the best ways that I have learned from this class to work towards doing so in the world.

We’re All Struggling Right Now: A Goal-Setting Essay

First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not….Habit is persistence in practice. Forget talent. If you have it, fine. Use it. If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter. As habit is more dependable than inspiration, continued learning is more dependable than talent.”–Octavia Butler, “Furor Scribendi”

This epigraph, along with the nature of ENGL431: Conversations: Octavia Butler & Social Ties with Beth McCoy, leads us to create habits of thinkING about our work rather than relying on the ‘talent’ of essay writing. Although I am thankful for the English department being so strong at Geneseo, it is easy to fall into the idea that peers are smarter or more talented than myself. I’m sure everyone has felt this in some aspect of their life; if not the major, a hobby or a skill. It is so easy to just give up. What I am learning, maybe later than I’d wish but not too late, is that creating a habit is just as easy as quitting. Instead of being discouraged, we are encouraged in our class to just continue. Practice. Think. ThinkING. Talent is not a continuous process. I believe that the epigraph reminds us that practicing something everyday is more important than hoping to be good at something. If we were to only trust our initial strengths, we would never grow and learn new things. If we only waited for inspiration to write, our words may never see light. We would never change — a quality that we have been witness to as being very dangerous. We should also remind ourselves we do have talents; but instead of relying on them we must share them with others. This is essential to bringing people together. By observing and learning from each other we can strengthen both our own expertise and our relationships with the people around us. 

    I am acknowledging here that as I am writing this essay on continuing to grow and learn I’m turning this in late. More than late. It is incredibly difficult in this global pandemic to continue to find motivation. If you’re reading this, please try to keep going. Keep the thinkING going. If not for you reading this, for myself. It is not our time to give up yet. 

Learn and Run!” From Octavia Butler’s Dawn

Another epigraph that has been presented in the syllabus of our course. Similar to the previously mentioned epigraph, Butler is expressing that we must take what we learn and apply it to our life. Create that habit mentioned prior. Continue the thinkING that is pushed. It is not enough for us to learn and keep this knowledge stored. We all can learn so much from each other. Learning is never limited to the classroom. This is apparent in Dawn when Lilith is forced to learn and run. She must learn from a new alien planet after her world is ruined and literally keep going. Easier said than done, using knowledge to connect with others is one of the greatest ways that humans can find a relationship. We should not only allow ourselves to educate each other, but be willing to listen to others when they want to teach us something new, even if it is indirectly. 

“I chose a spot near the river. There I prepared the seed to go into the ground. I gave it a thick, nutritious coating, then brought it out of my body  through my right sensory hand. I planted it deep in the rich soil of the riverbank. Seconds after I had expelled it, I felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life.” -Octavia Butler, Imago

This epigraph, the third and final one, is the one that sticks with me most. I quite literally used to go to a spot near a creek in my childhood to get away from the then-stress; if only I could revisit this spot now in a time of stress among us all. I believe here that the seed is strength. We have to tell ourselves that we will get stronger. However, we have to treat our minds like a seed. We grow with nourishment — in this case knowledge — and time. People famously say that life is short, but life is quite literally the longest event we will ever endure. True change, true learning, and getting better all take time. When we try to rush these things we become obsessed with stress and overwhelm ourselves in an effort to get by. This has been the ultimate struggle for me. It circles back to the idea of habit; a continuation of the self care we need. Small changes in the beginning can make us feel better instantly. Think about it — a bedroom looks so much cleaner after just making the bed. We all can start a journey to a better self by making the smallest changes in our habits. Make productivity and happiness an every day routine. 

This semester, my goal is to make it. The end is so incredibly close; it is not time to give up. Every day is another battle, another due date. I want to be able to say that my last real semester here was still a good one in spite of the pandemic.

If anyone is reading this — I hope you can soon find the motivation and strength. If you’re doing well, keep going. We’ll get there soon. 

Knowledge: How it brings us together

I have found that the way in which we connect with others says a lot about what brings us together with other people. Personally, I find myself being able to connect with others through my experiences as well as using our differences and similarities to push whatever relationship I have with them. For example, one thing that brings me closer to others is culture. Whether it is one that I consider my own, or one that I seek to know more about, culture intrigues me. 

Below are a few images of what brings me and many other families of Dominican culture together, a typical countryside home and food. 

A “campo” styled home in Dominican culture
el fogon dominicano | Comida dominicana, Fogones, Ciudad de santo domingo
Food made by “fogon” is more sustainable and tastes better. Dominicans tend to cook food this way for special occasions or if its their only way to cook.
A “campo” styled Dominican kitchen

What really brings us together is the shared idea that a simple life is a good life as long as you have what you need, food and some sort of company. Of course, there are other ways I become closer to others such as:

  • Having a shared goal 
  • Spending time together and making memories
  • Physical objects that relate to our relationship
In my first class with Dr. McCoy, African-American Literature, she gave us these beads and some yarn. If I remember correctly this was the first time I heard the term “through line.” The yarn provides a “through line” bringing these beads (individual ideas) together.
  • (And) Their interest in helping each other. Meaning we are actively finding ways to be better for each other and be better for the world.

While those are specific to me, there are more general ways in which others can be brought together and are done so through different subject areas and disciplines. For example, Humanities allows us to understand human society and culture. This is done through art, philosophy, history and literature. Science on the other hand, brings us together by allowing us to understand how we work and how other things work in a more concrete manner compared to Humanities. What is interesting about both is that when combined, Science Fiction is brought to the picture. This genre explores how we come together with ideas/objects and other beings beyond what we know. It the pushes us to question whether humanity is capable of doing so (come together) as it is something we continue to struggle with. Historically, bringing people together can be quite difficult due to our differences. Based on what I have been reading and doing since the course’s beginning, some critical questions that have come up are the following:

  1. How do I learn? What do I learn? And most importantly, what do I do with what I learn? 
  2. What kind of habits do I hold that are no good for me? But also, what kind of habits can I do to better myself and be better for others.
  3. Using questions 1 and 2 , I then ask myself if I trust what I learn and put it to use for any good.

Learning and the urge to learn is not always related to wanting to be closer to someone or a concept on a physical and emotional level. Sometimes what we seek is to understand them/it. And at times that is what we need at base level, to learn AND understand it. But what do we do with the information we learn, the things we notice? Knowledge is power because it can be put to use and action, if it is put to action it can make a difference. This reminds me of a class epigraph from Dawn where Butler writes “Learn and Run.” The purpose of learning is to use it. Learn, then “run” with that information, take it somewhere, don’t just leave it for you to have. While reading this epigraph multiple times I noticed I had to tweak it a bit to fit what learning also requires, reflection. Personally, I believe learning is incomplete without reflection. When we reflect we slow down. It allows us to notice what is easily lost if we just run. In one of our forums we had a discussion on noticing and noticing again. In a sense, we were put to run in the same place, with the goal, at least mine, to take notice twice. Doing so allows us to notice what we could have easily missed the first time. In my first response, I write:

 “Regardless, once you notice one thing, you start to notice other things as well, you become more conscious towards others and self conscious in a philosophical matter by trying to actively be more observant and take a note of things you could have not seen before.” – To the Forums! 3: Noticing

and  when I  encountered the text again I came to an additional understanding that:

 “We sometimes limit our experiences to just human experiences when in reality there is more than just us.”- To the Forums 4: Noticing Again

Being able to notice is crucial when we are trying to understand and learn but we must also actively notice and learn about what is outside of our interest and lifestyle. We see this happening in Dawn where Lilith is trying to teach others how to be sustainable on Earth. While the goal is to learn a different lifestyle not only for the sake of their own, when it is time to run, Lilith is scared. She had previously learned to work with and learn from those different from her, the ooloi. However, she believes that she is not on Earth but a simulation. Her perception of her reality makes it difficult for her to run.  Without running, Lilith is not putting her knowledge to practice.Trusting what we see can be difficult because we know oftentimes our perception can deceive us. Ultimately, wow we see things matters because it shapes how we feel about where our knowledge takes us, which is the run in this case. Is it a difficult run or an easy one? Slowing down (reflecting) during our run allows us to gain energy to continue running (share our knowledge with others). If there is something most us non-runners know is that running is hard, like actually. I then became interested in ways in which we can connect actual running with how Butler tells us to. Outside magazine has a list of running tips that I felt were applicable to the process on learning and noticing.

  1. “Strengthen Your Whole Body”/ Strengthen your mind and knowledge
    1. Don’t just focus on what you have learned. Try to find ways you use all of your knowledge  to strengthen/sustain what you have just learned?
  2. Run More Hills/ Challenge yourself
    1. Sometimes the knowledge that you carry can be heavy and difficult to run with, but it strengthens you. 
  3. Stretch and Refuel Immediately Post-Race/ Slow down 
    1. Reflect!
  4.  Don’t Run Injured/ 
  5. Make It Social/ Engage with others
    1. Share what you learn with others, it only makes the run more fun
  6. Visualize Success/ What you know matters!
    1. Can you see how what you know can cause change? 
  7. Find a Routine, Then Stick to It/ Practice what works for you
    1. How we use or present our knowledge is up to us. Find what works for you. 

That last running then brought me to another course epigraph:

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not….Habit is persistence in practice. Forget talent. If you have it, fine. Use it. If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter. As habit is more dependable than inspiration, continued learning is more dependable than talent.”–Octavia Butler, “Furor Scribendi” 

Out of all epigraphs, this one is my favorite. I think this one brings a rigid tone that the other ones don’t have since they seem more freeing and peaceful. In attempts to find a connection between this epigraph and what I have been learning in class it felt like this epigraph somehow clashed with what I have been learning offering a both/and. In the epigraph the habit is “continued learning” which in this case is a good thing. But habits are dependable, and sometimes they are not good ones like having a fixed perspective. I come to admit that this is something I struggle with. Because

“I think of perspective as something that is fixed and attached to a person rather than something that may shift.”- To the Forum 2: Good Faith 

I then came to learn that 

“our experiences as well as perception of others often construct a “fixed” idea on what exists and how it exists. Whether we try to deny it, facing it is a way to recognize that it is not necessarily a bad thing, but that there are ways in which we can reconstruct those perceptions into ones where we hold ourselves accountable. Jerry Kang gives us a few examples towards the end of his talk:

Re:THINK

Immaculate perception/ implicit bias

Explicit racism only in the past/ subtle discrimination right now

Don’t be a hater/ be wary of ingroup love

It’s not my fault/ we are the problem”-To the Forums 6: Implicit Bias in Dawn

The epigraph suggests a more positive outlook on habits while our discussion content allows us to see otherwise. The issue here is how we often miss the fine line between a growing habit and a fixed one that is bad. Nonetheless, growing and expanding our horizons (perception) is a good feeling when we see it in ourselves, but even a better feeling when we see others do so through us. Another course epigraph by Butler describes this exact sensation. A character (who I have not learned of yet)  “chose a spot near the river. There [they] prepared the seed to go into the ground. [They] gave it a thick, nutritious coating, then brought it out of [their] body through [their] right sensory hand. [They] planted it deep in the rich soil of the riverbank. Seconds after [they] had expelled it, (and) felt it begin the tiny positioning movements of independent life.” 
Having good practice and knowledge allows you to trust yourself to watch things grow on their own. Sometimes it’s important to take a step back and let things take its course which is a form of leadership and leaders bring people together. In Dawn the ooloi are trying to transform Lilith into a leader in order to bring the remaining humans together by helping them learn how to lead a new life. This is quite interesting considering how earlier in the novel, Jhadiyah, an ooloi, says that humans are hierarchical which led to their downfall. In To the Forums 5: Allegory anf Rejuvination I mention how

If Yertle the Turtle wouldn’t have the urge to be the ruler of all he could have just been happy with being the ruler of the pond. However, his selfish needs made it difficult for others to live a comfortable life. “

What both pieces show us is that leading does not require hierarchy (Yertle the Turtle) but a goal (Ooloi). A good leader is able to appreciate “movements of independent life.” Learning to lead others is just as important as leading yourself. My goals are to slow down, ask myself questions, to be an active learner and find use to what I learn.