Growth is Gradual

It was nice to see after reading Ian’s post, that I am not the only one struggling with the battle of procrastination. I laughed as I looked back at the schedule I made in the beginning of the semester for blog posts. I planned to write one blog post each week, but life got in the way.

When Professor McCoy mentioned on the first day of class that our blog posts had floating deadlines, it definitely made me a bit nervous. Procrastination is something I always struggled with and it has really negatively impacted the quality of my school work. Although the floating deadlines for the blog posts stressed me out quite a bit, I have to give myself a lot of credit. I feel like I grew so much as a writer and a person. I have not gotten rid of my procrastination habit 100 percent, as you can see, I am still submitting my last two blog posts today, but I can say for sure, that it has improved. It is definitely an important task to be able to do as Professor McCoy mentioned in the syllabus, “this skill is indispensable for human life.” Being able to NOTICE this growth and acknowledge that I am growing as a person and a writer, is essential for my growth as a person. I have to remember that progress is progress no matter how small.

When Professor McCoy, asked us to pick our favorite line out of Big Machine, I chose the line, “the dread you feel when institutions fail you.” I mentioned in class, the reason I chose this quote, was because I related to it on a personal level. The education system is sometimes flawed and as students, we are often forced to choose between classes with easy professors that will result in a good grade, or classes with professors who we know will teach us and challenge us and help us grow as a person and student. We are forced to make this tough decision because of how much stress these institutions put on having a high grade point average. I felt myself growing as a person when I decided I rather learn than get a good grade. Grades are trivial and Professor McCoy’s comment about how at the end of the day, grade point average means nothing, was relieving.

Similar to the growth I noticed in myself, is the growth that Ricky Rice noticed in himself. In the beginning of Big Machine, Ricky watches the homeless man get kicked off the bus and does not do anything about it, he was a bystander. However, Ricky found it hard to shake that situation, and said, “you don’t just brush off an episode like that. In fact, you may feel pretty terrible about it for aa good long while.” This shows that Ricky was not exactly comfortable with his decision not to step in.

At the end of the book, Ricky stated, “I wasn’t the same man I used to be. I’d never shaken the imagine of that nut standing on the side of the highway after we’d kicked him off our Greyhound bus. We’d sacrificed him. And there, sitting with Ronny, I felt I was on the verge of that choice again. Sacrifice this guy . . . And just like that, snaps the Voice’s commandment made sense to me. Invite them back in.” This was the moment that Ricky acknowledged his growth, and noticed that he no longer is the same person and refuses to make the same mistake that he once made.

We are all constantly growing and changing due to our everyday experiences. Acknowledge your growth and give yourself credit when credit is due. We can sometimes be too harsh on ourselves.

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