My progression from the beginning of the semester to now reflects the key aspects of our course outcomes as well as my personal aspirations as a student. The myriad concepts and points that have been discussed throughout the semester have enhanced and illuminated the works which we have read and given me a deeper understanding of the multifaceted world of both literature and African-American studies. Looking back on my “Seed Shape” essay that I wrote at the start of the year, I feel that I have greatly improved my knowledge of African-American studies as well as its importance in the larger perspective. In this essay I discussed my story throughout the course thus far, however, when I look at the end, I realize that I have entirely shifted perspectives on what factors and “seed shapes” really are. Most significantly, the works “African Fractals” written by Ron Eglash, and “The Water Cure” written by Percival Everett have provided me the insight to recognize and interpret the features of recursion, and infinity within our daily lives. Therefore, one major concept from “African Fractals” that I find to be of significance is the concept of fractal recursivity and how it emphasizes the repetition of similar geometric motifs or patterns within larger designs, reflecting a fundamental aspect of the procedure of retaining and deeply understanding underlying concepts within this course. Fully conceptualizing the idea of progression while simultaneously using repetition and reflection has led me to connect various course concepts to my personal perceptions of what it means to be reflective and progressive within my academic work and individual growth.
Perhaps the first feature of this course that we immediately jumped right into was African fractals. Although at first I thought it was odd that we were discussing geometry in a literature class, it turned out to be an influential and significant aspect of my overall comprehension of the works we read. Referring back to fractal recursivity, I now understand how an infinite pattern or structure can be seen and interpreted within progression and growth within academic scholarship. Eglash describes African fractals as repetitive and infinitive fragments that make up an African settlement, but rather than just simply being an architectural design, I learned that they can also represent the cultural beliefs and various meanings behind traditions within African culture. Similarly, within our course structure, each fragment of the course itself reflects the multifaceted, overall meanings of the course materials we have been asked to read and interpret. Furthermore, the encouragement and emphasis on returning to past course materials and concepts alludes to the way African fractals are reflective of much more than a design, but a vast array of intertwined, cultural and intellectual knowledge. Continuously returning back to past works provided me with the opportunity to progress academically within the class and enhanced my abilities to connect various points and interpretations to one another. I often found myself returning back to works that we had covered that I believed held importance to a specific topic we were discussing. Most commonly, I thought of “On Repetition in Black Culture” by James Snead which discusses how post European-Enlightenment culture forcefully attempted to transition repetition into accumulation and rapid growth, rather than insightfully returning to certain aspects that can foster a deeper knowledge and appreciation of intellectual concepts. Diving into this piece has helped me understand exactly how this way of Eurocentric thinking is limiting in my work as a scholar. Conceptualizing and retaining specific pieces of significantly influential works of literature is a key factor in obtaining the ability to connect complex topics to concrete evidential support embedded in texts. I now see how revisiting previously learned materials and concepts offers greater opportunity for personal and intellectual growth.
Nearing the conclusion of this course, I feel that reading “The Water Cure”, by Percival Everett, was a catalyst for helping me shift my perspective. If we perhaps interpret the structure of this course as a form of “art”, whether it be appreciating an infinite pattern of shapes, poetry or books, or even keeping a hostage in the basement, like Kidder, we can further dive in to the overall meanings of why and how we’re observing what we are. It’s clear that Everett wove his creativity into his writing, while his fictional narrator, Ishmael Kidder, wove his artistic“abilities” into torturing the murderer of his child, Lane. Throughout the book we see how Evertt incorporates various randomized poems, drawings, and gibberish that add to the seemingly disorganized, but ingenious, form of the piece itself. In relation to this course, I believe that this book reflects the emphasis on progression, but also retention and repetition. Everett frequently reflects on the past experiences of Kidder, yet continues to tell a story and continues to add onto that same drawing little by little. Another concept of Everett’s work that was discussed in our first mini collaboration was the question of whether Everett’s work with “The Water Cure” was restrained or not. Focusing on these questions allowed for deep, intellectual conversation among my group to be shared and carefully considered. And after long contemplation, we came to the conclusion that it varied between whose work was actually restrained, Ishmael or Everett. While Everett’s work seemed to be creative, though sort of unhinged, Kidder’s thoughts were heavily restrained. We can visibly see in the diction Ishmael uses that separates himself from his alter ego, so much so that they seem like two entirely different people altogether in his mind, which reflects the difficulty in balancing the author’s, the narrator’s, and the narrator’s alter ego’s thoughts. If we think about it, taking away one’s own personal identity denies a critical aspect of a relationship between the artist and their art, which can tie right back into why reading this piece lastly was so important. Comprehending my own “restraint” within the course helped me understand what I have gotten out of the course, and if I have allowed myself to fully conceptualize and incorporate the major course themes beyond the classroom, in my academic pursuits overall.
Through rigorous engagement with these texts and with the course’s assigned scholarly sources, I feel that I have bettered my understanding of African American literature, as well as the benefits of reflective self-grading and peer discussion. The course structure itself was shaped around continuously referring back to past concepts and sources, which I believe portrayed the overall course outcomes and concepts in a physical and metaphorical way. First observing fractal shapes and what they entailed, and then understanding fractal recursivity, a main concept from “African Fractals” by Ron Eglash, set the foundation for the course and provided me and my peers with the opportunity to dive further into the ways in which something as simple as shapes and reflective pieces of art can tell us about ourselves. The feedback that I received on my works was also a way of reflecting back to how I have progressed throughout the semester and what I can do as a scholar moving forward in my academic career. After reading “The Water Cure” by Percival Everett, I was able to see an interpretive glimpse into the world of African American literature that I had not seen before. Everett’s language itself portrays the complex emotions he felt and how he turned it into a masterful piece of work. Something that I had found most influential was discussing this novel with my peers. Interestingly, we all had entirely different perceptions of it which lead to a wonderful discussion about all of our perceptions. At the end of this, I noticed specific details about the literature that I had not recognized previously, which gave me a deeper understanding and appreciation for the chaos embedded in the text. It was a work about much more than just an unstable father who is seeking justice, but a form of expressive art from the author. It reflects on the ways in which inanimate objects such as a novel, or a fractal pattern, can be representative of humanistic values of growth and expression.
In concluding this course, I have been able to reflect on my personal progression through the semester from various standpoints. Looking back on some of our first discussions of African fractals, there is a clear connection between the themes within Eglash’s work and Everett’s novel. Perhaps beginning and ending with these two works alludes to a sort of infinity within the course, and the significance that there is no real end to anything, only growth and progression from where you started. This course has encouraged my personal growth; it has taught me to slow down and to return back to previous concepts and themes in order to connect them to current discussions of literature before moving forward. Specifically, fractal recursivity, as Eglash describes, can stand as a metaphor for our course structure and the way it mirrors a fractal shape, or an interpretive seed shape as I’ve discussed in my previous essay. Its pattern-like nature and emphasis on recursion and reflection shows the ways in which I can use my resources to foster an environment where I can retain and appreciate what I learn for long term growth and understanding.